HOT DOG FROM HELL

Stockholm Sweden .... I think it was in 1960 around February.... (I think)
We pulled into the ''blonde capitol of the world'' for a weeks R&R and everyone thought we were in Heaven. In a later sea story I shall relate other ''interesting parts'' but for now ......
''THE HOT DOG''
On the pier there was usually a vendor or two selling snack type food. As I left the ship one day I noticed a very old man with a metal box on a long strap around his neck. The metal box had a wooden leg so he could set it on the pier and sell his goods. It so happened that he sold HOT DOGS. or something similar to that. He spoke no English and the only words that I knew in Swedish was ''Tac Tac'' which meant thank you I think...
Anyhow. I walked up too him and looked at the icon on the box and it depicted a 'hot dog' for one Kroner.... .25 cents american.
He smiled at me and I smiled back and held up one finger .....
This ''box'' had charcoal in the bottom of it to keep the buns and weenies warm and he produced a bun about six inches long from one compartment and a steaming weenie about twelve inches long from the other. The whole thing was handed to me on a wax paper holder and he pointed at the ''condoments'' on the front of the box. One looked like ketchup and the other looked like mustard. He smiled, I smiled back........
I noticed that the spoon int the mustard was very tiny. About the size of my little finger nail. HUMMMMMM ????? Wonder why it is so small and the one in the ketchup is regular size ....... No matter.... I grabbed the mustard spoon and started ''dobbing and smearing mustard'' all down the length of the weene. He smiled at me and I smiled back ,... (good will and all that stuff).... At this point I took a very large bite of the HOT DOG.
Big error....... The stuff that I thought was mustard was as hot as the hinges of He## with all the blowers going full blast.
HOLLY CAT STUFF...........My eyes watered over, I went blind for a few seconds, my lungs collapsed, and my mouth went numb and on fire at the same time. I managed to scream ''COCA COLA''? and he shook his head NO...... He was really smiling now.... I looked at the bay and considered jumping in and drinking it dry. I managed to swollow that bite without passing out. When I got to where I could see and breath again I got out my ships knife and scraped about all of the mustart off the hot dog.
From then on when I left the ship and he was out there selling HOT DOGS I would always stop and buy one but I would simply ''dob the spoon in the mustard'' and then carefully ''PASS IT OVER THE HOT DOG'' without touching anything on the hot dog and that was just enough mustard.
From then on the old man would smile and I would smile back but inside I knew he was LAUGHING HIS A$$ OFF AT ME ..........
We stayed in Sweden for a week and were well ''recieved'' by the locals once they found out we were not Russians.......
So it went one Wintery Day on the Norton in the land of the blonds......
GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS AND BRING THEM HOME SOON
GOD BLESS OUR VETS FOR THEIR SERVICE TO THIS GREAT NATION
Seajay the sailor man.