Saturday, August 20, 2011

''BANG BANG'' MR. YOU ARE DEAD

''Willa, I gotta climb up on top of the coach and flip the release button on the stupid awning so I can roll it out''
''Ok Darling, don't fall off the roof''


Our awning has a strange quirk in that it will sometimes develop a personality all its own. It has a ''switch'' on the end of the roller that will sometimes get stuck in the last position it was left in and you have to take a pair of pliers and move the stinkin' thing to get the awning to rollup or un roll as the case may be. I have oiled, greased and cursed the thing without it helping much.


Our awning was UP and the switch refused to click down so I could un-roll the awning so we could have some shade while we are here at the beach. I got out my trusty pliers and went around to the latter on the back of the coach. I had forgotten that on this latter I had strapped, tied and attached our trusty Blue Boy Poop hauler that we used down in Florida last winter. I looked at it and decided that I could probably just ''climb over'' it instead of taking it down. About that time a small boy wearing a plastic helmet and carrying a plastic M-16 let go with about ten ''cap shots'' at me from behind the picnic table.
''I got you mister'' ''Fall down, you been shot''........
He had to be about four years old and cute as a button. I tired to explain to him that I was too busy to play soldier with him right now.
''What chew doin mister?''
''I am gonna climb up this latter and try to fix my awning''
''Can you take that Blue Thing down and let me use it for a tank or soumthin?''
''Not right now son. I am busy,,,,,,,,,,, YOU GO PLAY SOME WHERES ELSE PLEASE''.


I turned my attention to the ladder with the Blue Boy hanging from it. I could take the Blue Boy down but I figured it should not be much of a problem to simply ''climb over'' it and go on up the ladder and come down the same way. W R O N G …..


I climbed up on the tow bar hitch and up on the first rung of the ladder. I reached up above the body of the Blue Boy and grabbed the rung and hoisted my self up high enough to get my right foot into the ''Dump Hole'' of the Blue Boy. All was going well so far. I reached further up the ladder and got hold of the next rung and decided that since the body of the Blue Boy was in the way of a rung to step on that I should simply use my left foot to step on the ''brace'' that holds the ladder to the coach. I reached around the Blue Boy and felt around with my left foot and found the ''brace''. I went to ''step'' up with my left foot and as I managed to transfer my weight off my rite foot to my left foot my right foot slid out of the ''dump hole'' on the Blue Boy putting all my weight on my left foot which promptly slid off the ''brace'' that holds the ladder to the coach. My body flung sideways to my left and I slammed into the back of the coach doing a ''Monkey Hang'' on my left hand. It took me about three seconds to see that if I didnt do something I was going to drop to the ground with the tow bar probably between my legs.......... NOT GOOD.....
As I flung my body to the right in desperation I managed to grab one of the ropes that was holding the Blue Boy to the ladder. As I stabilized on the rope I realized that I was over stressing the load of the rope and it was slowly unraveling...........
The small boy on the ground let go with about ten more ''Cap Shots'' and yelled.. ''Gotcha again mister, fall down,,,,, you are dead''............


I carefully eased over the Blue Boy and as I stepped on top of it to go up on top of the coach the rope let go and Blue Boy fell to the ground with a giant thump. I said Shux and went on up to the awning and discovered that somewhere I had lost my pliers. I stomped on the roof of the coach and finally got Willas attention and asked her to go to the back and find my pliers and toss them up to me. When she got around back of the coach she noticed the Blue Boy on the ground and she questioned me as to why I had taken it down. I just told her it was simpler to take it down than climb over it.


The awning is working fine now and the Blue Boy is still on the ground under the coach and the kid seems to be out of caps for the time being and all is right with the world.


God bless our troops and bring them home real soon

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